it's just not the same without them

last weekend we packed up the van again and drove over 700 miles south, stopping at Bob Jones University in South Carolina. in addition to M returning to college as a sophomore, we also took N as a freshman in the class of 2013, majoring in chemistry.

it's a comfort to me to have them both there at the same place, but BJU is so far away!

parts of this year have been very difficult, especially after our oldest son left home last October. i treasured all the more the time that we had as a family, realizing that it's all too fleeting. it seems like it was just yesterday that i had my first baby girl, M, and already it's over 20 years later and my children are growing up!



this big old house seems strangely silent without M and N. i find myself glancing at the clock to see how soon either of them might be home. i find myself leaving the back porch light on for M, since she always worked 2nd shift and came home after dark. i catch myself wondering if N will bring home coffee or (and?!) donuts when he gets off work at Dunkin' Donuts.


there are still 3 children here at home with us, and a long way to go before we have an empty nest. but still, after 20+ years of mothering, i find that i wasn't quite ready to be done.



did i miss something? did i teach them all that they needed to know? did i forget something gigantic and really important?


do they know not to mix the lights and darks? not to wash something red in hot water? when to put the fabric softener in? are they organized enough? will the homework, reading and assignments all be done on time? do they know what a dangling participle is? (do i even know what a dangling participle is?) do they remember the difference between their, they're and there? will they eat right and not drink too much coffee? take their contacts out every night? wear sensible shoes? listen to the weather report before getting dressed?


i could talk myself into dashing down to South Carolina to give them that final list of Really Important Stuff That I May Have Forgotten To Mention.


But don't worry~ i won't do that. because i know that in spite of all my parental flaws and imperfections they are going to turn out just fine. along the way we may have missed a few important tidbits about prepositions or ancient Greek history, but i think that M and N have learned the Really Important Lessons Of Life.


Love God with all their soul.


Serve Him with all their might.


Seek Him with all their heart.


they had a good foundation, and now they are ready and eager to build their own house.

and i, for one, will be their greatest fan and cheerleader.


because I'm so proud of them both!

the conclusion of the celebrating!

along with A's 3rd birthday, we also celebrated the conclusion of N's high school career. since A was/is really too little to mind, N chose the menu for the night- maple mustard chicken, creamed carrots and sweet potatoes.

for dessert he chose strawberry cake with cream cheese icing. can't beat that!

we gave him a nice card, and...






a quilt! he's been dropping subtle blatant hints for a couple years now that this was the quilt and colors that he wanted. and as you can see, he's really happy with it!



soon he'll be off to college (along with his sister) and it's our prayer and sincere desire that he continues to grow into the man God would have him to be.

Guest Friday: Greenville, Greyhound and Bob Jones University

N is the honoured guest for this Friday, and he's chosen (alright, been *strongly encouraged*) to write about his recent trip to BJU. he went to visit as a potential freshman for next year, and has decided that he likes the college and campus so much that he's started the application process for next fall. we are pleased with his choice, and know that Bob Jones University will be a good fit for N.

Early on the morning of January 13th, I awoke to make the long trip down to South Carolina with my sister M and our friend Matthew. The purpose of this trip was to go visit the college which she attended; Bob Jones University, in Greenville. We met Matthew in Lewisburg, and crammed all of M's belongings, as well as my duffel bag, into Matthew's small two-door car. It was cramped! But, we forced it all in there, the important stuff, anyway. The rest would be mailed to M at some point in the not-too-distant-future.

The car ride down was remarkably unremarkable. The two college freshman had it in their heart to torture me with a mind game that took extraordinarily long to figure out, considering how easy the solution turned out to be. I retaliated during twenty questions. (They went entirely the wrong direction! The answer was "India"; they were guessing "diamonds", "Angel Falls", and "rocks". Odd, I know...)

Anyway, we arrived safely, and made a quick stop at the college to drop off luggage and empty out the car. That finished, we wandered around Greenville for a while, using up minutes on cell phones and gas in tanks, searching for the house of the family with whom I would be staying. We finally found it, and had a delicious meal of spaghetti and cake. M, Matthew and I went back to BJU, to the student center. There, she introduced me to her friends, roomies and fellow nursing majors.

The next morning, I met M outside her dorm house. She had a pass to go off campus, and we walked to Starbucks for sustenance. A few of her friends happened to be there, and she introduced me to them. We then returned to the college; she to the grind that is getting settled in, I to the Administrations building to talk to my admissions counselor, Ben Cochran.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t there, but he had left a list of classes on which I could sit in. They consisted of several science classes, a few labs, and some Bible classes. Obviously, I didn’t have time to attend all of them, but I did make an effort to attend as many as was humanly possible. Sadly, I didn’t end up going to any of the chemistry labs. The first, Analytical Chemistry, was in Science Building Room 131. Rather, I should say that it was scheduled for that room. I waited outside the room for about fifteen minutes; no one showed up to unlock it, much less instruct us! The other lab was scheduled to overlap with Human Anatomy and Physiology, which was a class M was taking and one to which I wanted to go.

Thursday morning started bright and early; 6:30 am, to be precise. I met M for breakfast at the Dining Commons, and learned several very important bits of information concerning keeping up your image while eating. Duly noted. I also met more of M’s friends. The first class I went to, not counting the aborted chemistry lab, was a required class for all students. New Testament Messages, taught by Nathan Crockett, was one of my favorite classes while I was down there. Granted, I only went to it once, but he seemed like a great teacher, and as though he cared about his students. One of the things I liked about the college overall was the fact that that all the classes started with a prayer by the professor, and perhaps a relevant verse. You’re not going to find that at Bucknell University.

After NT messages was chapel, in the Founder’s Memorial Amphitheater. It was HUGE! There were about five thousand people there! Stephen Jones, great-grandson of the original Bob Jones, gave the message.

After chapel and lunch, I had another class, taught by Nathan Crockett again. This was Life and Ministry of Christ. After that, it was Life and Ministry of Paul. Then it was off to dinner with M and her fellow nursing majors.

The next morning started off bright and early again. This was a day filled mostly with science classes. General Chemistry at nine o’clock, and then a class with M at 10, Bio-organic Chemistry. Both were very fascinating, and I was even able to keep my head above water and comprehend most of what was being said! Chapel and lunch again. At 2 o’clock, there was another science class with M and her buddies: Human Anatomy and Physiology. Since I had to be at the information desk at 3:30, after this class we parted company; ne'er the twain again shall meet. (At least until May...)

Well, what did I think of the college, specifically the rules? Hmm... tough question! I obviously liked it; enough to apply there, of course. I liked the classes offered; it was a spacious campus, but not sprawling enough to get lost. The food wasn't terrible, the library was large and had a wide selection, and the student center was quite enjoyable, thank-you!

But that isn't what made me want to attend. In spite of all the griping and complaining to the contrary, it's the strict rules and regulations that are going to be a great help in my college career. Yes, some may be very strict, (no playing cards), and others somewhat nonsensical (no pool on Sundays), but hey. At least they try. In spite of all their shortcomings, regulations-wise, BJU has and does maintain a Christian atmosphere, which you won't find at any secular college. As the prevailing theory among most of the student body seems to be, they're rules for college, not rules for life. Besides, all these regulations can't help but cause you to try to act right, and if you're not allowed to socialize off campus or play pool on Sundays, well then. Perhaps you should be studying anyway, hmm?

In short, I enjoyed my trip, had a quick taste of what it would be like to be a college freshman at BJU, and hope to taste more fully what the campus has to offer come this fall!

guest friday- all the way from South Carolina!

Hello all! It’s me, M. You know, my mom’s daughter who went off to college and has been buried ever since under a pile of homework?

updated to add new information below:

that is a slight exaggeration, although it feels true sometimes. Life has certainly been busy since I arrived here at Bob Jones University, located in Greenville, SC, and home to about 5,000 students.

As a freshman nursing major, I am taking a variety of classes: chemistry, biology, orientation, English, math, and Old Testament Messages. I am enjoying my science classes a lot; I really enjoy learning all the details of God’s creation, and how and why it all works. Right now in biology we are learning about genetics and inheritance. Chemistry isn’t quite as interesting at the moment; we’re working on reaction equilibriums. Another thing that makes chemistry less than enjoyable is the impending lab final, where we have to memorize all the procedures and equations for the entire lab, which will take about 2-3 hours to perform. Of all my classes, I dislike English the most. However, I am enjoying all the wonderful chapel speakers. I also like the fact that each class starts with a prayer. it reminds me of what’s really important.

My days generally go something like this- wake up, get ready, eat breakfast, go to classes, work (3 days a week),chapel, lunch, classes, dinner, homework, sleep. On the days that I don’t work, I either have classes or do homework during that time.

My roommates are great. We all get along and actually enjoy being around each other. We have fun, motivate each other, and provide excellent pieces of advice, along with a sympathetic ear and shoulder to cry on.

that was just a quick overview of all that goes on here. We’re all also in a society (there are 45 different ones). At a minimum, we go to our society meeting every Friday, and society Sunday school. Society also offers the chance to become involved in sports, prayer meeting, and extension ministries. Although I would love to play basketball for my society, I decided that it would just be too much this year.

There are couple of big events coming up right now. Besides the fact that these next few days will be pretty busy for me (multiple quizzes and three tests) we also had Artist Series Tuesday night (a required event) and the Turkey Bowl on Saturday. Artist Series occurs every semester, and is an activity designed to expose us to culture in order to help us appreciate it. This time it will be a production of “The Pirates of Penzance”. I am very excited about going. I’ll be attending with two of my friends. From what I’ve heard, it should be really good. Plus I’ll get the opportunity to hear the famous “I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major General” in context, and if nothing else I will enjoy getting all dressed up, since this is a formal event.

Then there is the Turkey Bowl on Saturday, which is the championship game for the guys' society soccer. I am told that it is the Super Bowl down here- the stadium will be packed with people from the school and the surrounding area, and the excitement level will be high. What I’m really excited about is halftime. This year they are doing an Olympic theme for halftime, and I qualified for the women’s 100meter dash, and the team I am a part of qualified for the women’s 4x200meter relay. It will be a nice break from all the studying. It’s getting really hard to study anymore- my body and mind miss physical activity.

we just received a rather excited and breathless call from M- she was so excited to tell us that she placed first in the 100meter dash, and her relay team placed third in the 200meter relay. there was an award ceremony at halftime, and she received a gold medal, as well as a bronze! she will also be featured in the campus newspaper, sometime next week. she called to talk to us as she was walking back to her dorm- she has a lot of studying to do, and wanted to get started right after she took a shower! what a girl!

The biggest event on campus is a countdown: The countdown of how many days left until Thanksgiving break. This much anticipated event is the cause for great rejoicing as it draws nearer. 4 days to go……………

houston, we have lift-off!

last thursday, M's long anticipated day finally arrived- it was time to take her to college. BJU in south carolina. which as i mentioned, is very far away. as in 700 miles far away. we were hesitant to take our car that far, so we rented a '06 dodge caravan. and it was really nice. i wanted to keep it, but dave made me give it back. we needed to take the girls with us, as B is still nursing, and we didn't have anyone for A to stay with. we were all a bit nervous about 14+ hours in the car with an infant and toddler, and our worst fears were indeed realized. there was a lot of weeping and crying, like we expected, and then A and B started, too. (just kidding!) the DVD player that we borrowed didn't really entertain A like we were hoping, so it was a long ride until she fell asleep. a very long ride. and loud.

here's the girls as we were starting out. happy faces now!

and now we have arrived many, many hours later. M is checked in, and is ready to start settling in the dorm.

here she is partially settled in, and the little girls are happy to see her.

they are even happy to help unpack! i took M to wal-mart to get some last minute stuff. including a little step ladder so she can get up on her bed!

it's not really home until your bed is made, and your quilts are on. now that the quilts are on the bed, and the pictures are on the shelf, M feels at settled in, and she's ready and eager for her classes to start, even though that won't be until Wednesday. we were so happy that dave's parents were able to drive up from Florida to visit us. more on that later.

in the weeks that led up to M's leaving for college, i've been a bit weepy every time i think about her leaving home. she's so far away! (i think i may have mentioned that already) for almost 20 years she has been a daily presence in my life, and i could not imagine our life without her. but after spending several days on campus, and getting to meet her roommates, professors and just general observations, i can honestly say that both dave and i were very peaceful about leaving her.

BJU can evoke strong reactions from people- both positive and negative. either you love it, or hate it. no middle ground, it seems. there are many rules- some seeming very trivial and legalistic. but they are very honest about what is expected, and make no apologies for what they believe is in the best interest of the students. dave and i are appreciating their high standards, and their commitment to see them carried out. i have respect for M, and all the other students, for willingly submitting to the authority of BJU. we don't need to debate whether the bible says it is wrong for a woman to wear jeans, or watch PG-13 movies, or listen to Rebbecca St. James. BJU says these thing are not going to be allowed or tolerated. they are setting a standard for behavior, holding the line, and saying NO COMPROMISE! perhaps we need more families, churches and schools willing to take such a strong stand for what they believe.

M will do just fine, and in fact will thrive, and be a better person when she graduates in 2012. she will have had a thorough education- spiritual, cultural and academic. she will be a good RN. she will be a compassionate RN. but most importantly, she will be a Godly RN.