the job of being a parent is intimidating, and can be downright terrifying. to think that we've been given these many children to teach, and only have the brief 18 year span to do so, is enough to make the bravest heart quiver. i think it's at the heart of every mother, and is certainly in my heart, that we want to raise Godly, moral, honest and productive members of society. maybe a few other adjectives as well, but those will do for now. if i, as an imperfect mother, can raise children who are any of those things, it's only by God's grace, mercy and divine intervention. i want my children to be better than me, and to learn some of the lessons that I missed along the way.
through much of my adult life, i have always struggled with having a daily quiet time, and regular prayer- laying my heart before God, and talking to Him. this year i wanted to get control of this particular issue, and on December 31, i declared this The Year In Which Our Whole Family Would Read The Bible The Whole Way Through. even though i started off with noble intentions, i fell behind quicker than i could ever have imagined. my life is so busy, and a daily quiet time was not a discipline that was ingrained in me as a child, and i would so easily forget that i was to be setting time aside for God every day.
but A inspires me. although she is barely 2, she loves Jesus with all her heart. A has begun to master 1 Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray without ceasing." we can be reading, weeding, building blocks or rocking for bedtime, and she will take my hand and say "pray?" she wants to talk to Jesus! i will pray with her, and when we are done, she will get a big smile on her face and say "more?" if only i could have the heart of this small child who wants to talk to God about everything!
A reminds me that God is forgiving and mericful, even though that is not what i deserve. she reminds me that God is kind and loving, and cares about every part of my life, the life of my family, and the lives of my children. He loves my children even more than i do! that is why i want them to all have the habit of talking daily with God. i want them to have a personal relationship with Him. Personal, Steady, Daily. that is a discipline that i can impart to them, if they are willing to accept my teaching.
i don't try to be the Perfect Mother, but i sincerely desire to be a Good Mother. i resolve to try harder (again) to rely more on God, listening for His voice and seeking His guidance in my life. and anna will hold me to it.