Sunday, February 01, 2009

forget the Super Bowl- it's time for Ask Alice!

Here's a compilation of several Q & A's from the last couple columns of Ask Alice. i think she's really outdone herself this time!

DEAR ALICE: why is it that most rock singers tend to be extremely thin, while opera singers, on the other hand, tend to be quite robust? -WONDERING IN WYSOX

DEAR WOND: researchers recently discovered the answer to your question. it's because fat cells are destroyed by stupid lyrics. -ALICE

DEAR ALICE: I'm thinking about taking up walking to get some exercise, but my husband says there's a specific way to walk that will burn more calories and lead to aerobic fitness. can you tell me where to find out more about this? -WALKER IN WYSOX

DEAR WALK: walking like a dork and flailing your arms about has become very popular. it helps if you have an enormous butt bouncing around like the Goodyear blimp. you'll know you're doing it right when passing cars run off the road because the driver is laughing so hard. -ALICE

i think that Alice might be onto something here! i can't help but wonder if one were to listen to songs featuring "stupid lyrics", all the while "walking like a dork", if that would double the amount of calories burned...

DEAR ALICE: my husband and i have finally gotten serious about dropping some pounds, and are looking for an exercise machine to purchase for our home. got any suggestions on what sort of machine we should purchase? -HEAVY IN HERRICK

DEAR HEA: I'd recommend buying a machine that is easy to move. this is so when you get not so serious you can shove the machine into a corner and use it to hang clothes and other stuff on. -ALICE

and then if the previous suggestions don't work, you could always go this route instead!

1 comment:

Angie said...

That's funny. I loved that one about the rocker and the opera singer.


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